Oh. So thats what happened. Shit.
The literal WORST band. The comments are worse then the actual post. Any female who commented giving a valid argument to this was completely disregarded and called a “ladder climbing slut”/disrespected by not only the band but their male fans.
Guys like this should not be in hardcore
It is hard to come to terms with the fact that people in your life who you love consider you controlling. It is not something I ever wanted to be known as. I hate being controlled. To me, operating under someone’s perceived plan for you is a fate worse than death. But, as it is, I have become that person.
Why is this? Perhaps I do set unattainable standards and expectations for those who I am close to. Perhaps I am attempting to maintain the perfection of things around me that are in nature imperfect. I don’t know, but it hurts knowing that I am viewed this way. I never wanted to be that person.
My girlfriend and I are going through some rough shit, the roughest shit we have ever had to endure as a couple. We both fucked up, and big time at that. The underlying issues though had to do with me being condescending and controlling, and now I have to face this head on or lose the woman I love, which is terrifying.
Her two best friends from home hate me now for reacting how I did to some unfortunate findings, and probably always will hate me. They never understood me anyway, but it still complicates things because I know for a fact that they want us to break up, maintaining that she would be better off without me, and that I am an abuser. I am not an abuser. I lost my temper over some bullshit, and I know that, but I am not an abuser. If I truly believed I was, I would leave. I have even asked her before when I was afraid that I was being too controlling. I inquired once, “do you think I am an abusive asshole boyfriend?” She responded something along the lines of “no, but you need to be careful with how controlling you can be.” So I find myself conflicted. I truly do care about the opinions of these two people, but I also know that they only understand the situation from one perspective, and as I said, they never understood me or anything I do anyway. None the less, I am sure that when Linsey sees them from now on they will implore her to leave me.
I have “been controlling since day one”, apparently. Well, thats not how I view it, obviously. I love someone who has a proclivity towards darkness and self-destruction. She knows this. I know this. If I have been controlling it is because I have been trying to keep her from being sucked into a void of depression and substance dependency. I have been trying to help, and I have. I need to be more careful about the advice I give on what to eat though. Women are reeeeeaaallly sensitive about food. But I will work on it. I never wanted to be a controlling monster. I never wanted to be that boyfriend. If it means backing off to keep her, I will with the help of my friends and a new therapist.
In my darkest and most selfish moments I think “people are fucking stupid and need to be controlled.” Then I remember that I AM a person, that I AM fucking stupid as well, that I am no better than anyone else. I need to back off. I’ve never been good at backing off, and it will render to alone if I do not alter my ways.
I write this as a declaration of starting over and letting things just be, but also as a rebuttal to the accusations placed against me. “Guys like you don’t change”, one of them said to me. Well, you don’t know me. You don’t know anything about this. Watch me. Just like Linsey for me, I have sacrificed a lot to be in this relationship. Now its time to let things just happen more, and to let her be without my nagging, without my opinions. Watch me change.